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> Vader speaks to the Emperor about Luke, spoof!
post Jan 5 2013, 12:56 AM
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Vader speaks to the Emperor about Luke

“The Emperor wishes you to make contact with him,” An Imperial officer said to Darth Vader.
“Move the ship out of the asteroid field so that we can send a clear transmission,” Vader said.
Minutes later, Vader stood before the fluttering hologram of the Emperor’s head.
“What is thy bidding my master?” Vader said, kneeling.
“I sense a great disturbance--”
The Emperor’s image flickered wildly.
“A great disturbance--”
The Emperor’s voice cut out. The Emperor’s head turned to the side and Vader could see him verbally admonishing someone.
“Vader, can you see me?”
“Yes my master. Can you see me?”
“No! I can’t see a damn thing through this blasted hood! It hangs infront of my eyes! Anyways, Vader, we have to take out that kid who blew up the Death Star! I have a bad feeling about him. He must not be allowed to live.”
“How is it possible that Skywalker had a son?”
“You’re Anakin Skywalker!” The Emperor snapped. “Stop talking about yourself in the third person – it’s annoying!”
“Yes, master.”
“Now, in regards to the boy’s existance, search your feelings.”
“My feelings? I feel angry and sad that my wife died in childbirth.”
“… and?”
“Are we almost done here? My leg’s getting tired from kneeling.”
“I thought your legs were artificial.”
“Just above the kneecaps.”
“… and?”
“and … the child survived?”
“Bingo, Lord Vader.”
“Why didn’t we think of this possibility before?”
“Because a mechanical bad-ass doesn’t change diapers, ya dig?”
“If he could be turned, he could be a bad-ass too.”
The Emperor contemplated for a moment silently. A darkside Luke Skywalker. What despicable name could he bestow upon him? Darth Hater? Darth Junior?
“Yeeees. Can it be done?”
“He will join us or die, my master.”
Vader bowed his helmeted head while kneeling, but lost his balance and toppled over.
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