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> Windu confronts Darth Sidius, spoof!
post Aug 31 2011, 03:06 PM
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"You are under arrest, My Lord," Mace Windu declared, his three Jedi standing tall behind him.
"What proof do you have of my transgressions?" Palpatine asked politely.
"Anakin told us. And your electricity bill is very low - only a Sith Lord can produce his own electricity."
Palpatine rose from his chair.
"So it's like that, then."
A lightsaber dropped out of Palpatine's overly-large sleeve, along with a few playing cards and a white rabbit. In a quick movement, he ignited his saber and hurled it like a boom-a-rang. It arced in the air with great speed and the three Jedi standing behind Windu had no time to react before it decapitated them. The saber returned to Palpatine's wrinkled hand.
Windu watched in shock as his headless teammates dropped lifeless to the carpet.
"Damn!" Windu exclaimed.
"Kill Windu!" Palpatine commanded his saber as he hurled it. The saber again arced through the air, but it completely missed Windu, came back around and smashed through the large window behind Palpatine.
"I said 'kill Windu', not 'window'!" he barked at his lightsaber which had disappeared into the night air.
Windu advanced on Palpatine. Weaponless, the Supreme Chancellor backed up against the window frame and dropped to his butt.
"The tyranny of the Sith is over!" Windu shouted.
Just then Anakin ran into the room and took a position beside Windu.
"Anakin! Help me! The Jedi are trying to take over!"
"Don't listen to him, Anakin! He's the traitor!"
"Don't let him kill me!" Palpatine whimpered.
"He can't be kept alive, he's too dangerous!"
Windu raised his saber up to strike.
"You must choose!"
"I can't!" Anakin cried. Anakin closed his eyes, ignited his saber, and swung down. He couldn't bare to watch the destruction of his old friend and mentor, Palpatine.
But just as Anakin swung, Windu's blade came down and Anakin severed Windu's arm instead. This gave Palpatine his opportunity - Palpatine lifted his hands and shot Windu through with 200,000 volts, making Windu shake like he was dancing the electric boogaloo. Windu danced right out the window. Anakin opened his eyes and watched in horror as Windu fell several floors.
"Oops," Anakin said. He looked over the side. Windu landed in the Senate Fountain, right next to the statue of a large dove.
"He might be alright," Anakin said dubiously.
The dove statue fell over, right on top of Windu, crushing him.
"Well, probably not now," Anakin concluded.
Anakin looked at Palpatine with tearful eyes.
"What have I done?!" Anakin sobbed, dropping to his knees.
"You made the right choice, Anakin," Palpatine said, standing up. His voice had become disturbingly deep, and his skin pale white.
Anakin didn't want to look stupid, so he didn't want to admit he'd been aiming for Palpatine and missed.
"What happened to your voice?!"
"I have a frog in my throat."
Palpatine opened his mouth and a frog jumped out and landed on the window sill, next to the white rabbit who promptly scurried off. The frog took one look at Palpatine and jumped out the window.
"I'll do whatever you ask of me," Anakin whimpered.
"Good! From now on, you'll be called Darth Vader."
"Why can't I keep my original name? I built a pretty good clientelle on that name."
"Because Darth Vader sounds scarier. Nobody is scared by 'Anakin Skywalker!' You sound like a circus tight-rope walker!"
"Whatever will help save Padme!"
"The power to cheat death is one few have accomplished, but if we work together, and throw lots of revenue into midwifery, we can discover the secret, along with the secret of the Caramilk Bar!"
Anakin smiled.
"Now!" Palpatine continued, "Every Jedi is an enemy of the Republic. Go to the Jedi Temple and kick some butt!"
"Yes, my Master."
Anakin got up and marched out.
Palpatine put on a black robe and dialed his clone troopers named Curly, then Larry and Mo, on his party line.
"Execute Order 666."
"666 sir?" Curly asked. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Palpatine barked.
"Yes sir!"
Palpatine slammed down the phone.
A few minutes later, as Palpatine watched the Republic police rope-off the Senate Fountain and fish Windu's fried corpse out of the water, Palpatine realized he may have given the wrong order. He got out his documents and checked.
He'd meant to give order 777, a warrant for the arrest of all the Jedi. Order 666 was a death sentence.
"And I said 'execute'," Palpatine grumbled to himself.
He threw the whole document in the shredder and shrugged his shoulders.
"Oh well."
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post Sep 17 2011, 02:47 PM
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On Bespin in Lando's dining room
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It was funny; you are good at these spoofs. smile.gif

Let's start at the top shall we? The Sith Wars, Palpatine's Empire, Thrawn's siege, Vong invasion, Second Galactic Civil War, I could go on. Point is the enemy hasn't vanished and we're fighting new people/aliens/species every day.

This has always been a Force War and we, as non-Jedi, will still help rid the universe of their evil. That's on one side of the galaxy, on the other our friends: Luke, Han, Leia, Wedge, Iella, Corran, Mirax, etc are still trying to keep the peace. They've thwarted Abeltoth, but others will soon come their way...and ours.

We shall meet these enemies on both sides of the galaxy head on to defeat them. And when we do meet them, it'll be with the same determination, hope, and perseverance all of us have always shown.

None of this is easy as people/aliens/pets/animals are injured or die every day. But to keep the galaxy safe, we'll do all we can to win, for both sides of the galaxy. To ensure peace, we will keep fighting.

Wish us luck, wish us the Force, and pray for us as we'll need it going up against these formidable foes.

(Have been playing SW for over 17yrs--as of 2014--and I also follow the books. I will continue this role playing until I no longer can.) Also I just wanted to thank all who answered my threads and have chatted with me throughout the years; all of you are fun, awesome, caring, friendly, smart, (etc) and are my good/best friends. I will miss talking to you.
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post Sep 19 2011, 04:07 AM
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Frozen in Carbonite on Slave 1
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And another great work of yours. Enjoyed this one.


Married to anya_skywalker

"It is known that there are infinite number of worlds, simply because there is infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so average population of all planets in Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that population of whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely products of deranged imagination."
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Master was here (12.10.16)
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