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> How did Ben Kenobi know that Luke was in trouble?, spoof!
paul73
post Jun 23 2012, 03:52 AM
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Obi-Wan Kenobi was sitting on his couch in his living room wearing only boxers while eating Cheetos and watching Pod-Racing on his satellite TV when the ghost of Qui-Gonn Jinn appeared in the corner. Jinn cleared his throat to get Obi-Wan’s attention. Startled, Kenobi spilled his bag of Cheetos all over the floor.
“Qui-Gonn!”
“Obi-Wan, Luke is in trouble.”
“Again? What is it this time? Ditched the landspeeder?”
“No.”
“Got into a drunken fight at the canteena?”
“No.”
“Shaved a sandperson’s bantha after a juvenile bet?”
“No.”
“Then what?!”
“Some Sand People beat him up. Knocked him out, by the looks of it. Now they’re pillaging. And you know what always goes with pillaging.”
Obi-Wan bolted off the couch.
“I’d better get there right away. That boy is our only hope.”
“No,” Qui-Gonn countered, “there is another.”
Obi-Wan scratched his white beard for a moment while he thought about it.
“The girl?”
“Yes.”
Obi-Wan doubled-over laughing.
“Obi-Wan, you forget, there were many female Jedi,” Qui-Gonn said, stone-faced.
“Yes, but did they ever say anything? Did they ever do anything other than just die?”
Qui-Gonn sighed heavily and raised his eyebrow.
“Go, Obi-Wan, and don’t forget to put on pants!” Qui-Gonn barked.
Kenobi stumbled around looking for clothes. Once fully-dressed and armed with his lightsaber, Obi-Wan headed for the door.
“Obi-Wan, one last thing.”
Kenobi stopped and turned around.
“This will be the last time I commune with you.”
“What?!”
“You’ll have to do the ghost stuff from now on.”
“Why?!”
“You’re getting too old to keep up with a young man like Luke. You’re going to have to let Vader make a martyr out of you or something.”
Obi-Wan thought about it. A twinkle came to his eye and he grinned slyly.
“Yes! That way, I can guide the boy easily! Then I can really get inside his head! I’ll be more powerful than Vader can ever possibly imagine!”
“Just don’t get into the boy’s head too much, or you’ll be more annoying then Luke could ever imagine!”
“Right then. Well, nice knowing you. See you on the other side, I guess!”
Jinn nodded.
“May the Force be with you, old friend,” Jinn said.
“May the Force be with you, Master.”
“I’m already One with the Force, Obi-Wan; you don’t have to say that.”
“Oh, yes ... sorry!”
Jinn faded away. He didn’t have the heart to tell Kenobi that he wouldn’t be allowed to train Luke – the job would be given to Yoda, after Kenobi royally screwed up the training of the first Skywalker!
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