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> Padme's ship hit in assassination attempt, spoof!
post Mar 6 2011, 11:16 PM
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The senator's silver spaceship landed smoothly on the Corruscant landing platform along with two yellow Naboo fighters. Moments later the captain-of-the-guard spoke to a slim fighter pilot while the senator descended the ramp.

"Looks like there was no welcoming committee at all," the captain said, frowning.

Suddenly the senator's ship exploded. The senator came tumbling down the ramp onto the platform.

"No!" the pilot shrieked. She pulled off her helmet, revealing herself to be Padme in disguise. "I almost had that ship paid-off!"

Padme ran to her dying decoy and knelt down beside her crumpled body.

"I've failed you, Senator," her decoy moaned.

"No, no!" Padme said softly, "I'm fine, really!"

"I mean, your application for vice-chancellor - I forgot to send it in before the deadline. I'm sorry."

With that, Padme's decoy expired. Padme took a close look at her former loyal servant and then looked at the captain.

"I'm taking the dress back," Padme whispered.

A gunshot in the air made the captain winse. A second came close behind and something hit the captain in the left eye. He put his hand over his eye and grimised in pain.

"Your majesty, you're still in danger!"

"But what about my purse?!"

An arrow stuck in the captain's foot with a red note stuck to it. The word "KAMINO" was blazen across the note in big letters. "We must go immediately!" The captain groaned.

He hauled her up by the arm and proceeded to drag her away.

"I want the shoes back too! The SHOES!" she pleaded.

"Never mind that now!"

"Quite a welcoming! "Committee" indeed!" Padme sneared.

Later Padme was brought before Yoda, Mace Windu and the Supreme Chancellor, Palpatine.

"Senator Amedala!" Yoda said, "Heard I did of the tragedy on the landing platform! Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to me!"

"Master Yoda!" Padme said with a wry smile, "Is that a cane under your robes, or are you just glad to see me?"

"Senator," Palpatine said soberly, "After this attack, I must insist that as the opposition to the Grand Army of the Republic (which I have spent years trying to ratify support for, which I have spent much time drafting large bills for, the army which I have staked my personal and professional reputation on, not to mention the army which will restore order, peace and justice to the galaxy)..." Palpatine had gotten carried away and was standing over the senator with clenched fists. Realizing everyone was looking at him queerly, he regained his composure. "May I suggest some protection for you? How about some old friends like Master Kenobi and Skywalker?"

"That's possible," Mace commented. "They just got back from nurf-herding on planet Sponge."

"And may I also suggest," Palpatine continued, "that you stay at the Plaza Hotel, the top northeast corner penthouse suite? The view is amazing! I'll foot the bill - I feel somewhat responsible for what happened."

"Until your attacker caught and this mystery solved, our wishes you must respect," Yoda said while eyeballing the arrow the captain had been shot with. Yoda ripped the message with the word "Kamino" on it from the arrow and waxed his big, green ear with it.

"Penthouse suite, hmm?" Padme said, "well, I guess I have no choice!"

"It's settled then!" Palpatine beamed, clapping his gnarly hands together.
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post Apr 20 2011, 07:42 AM
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Liked it! Some moments are really hilarious.


Married to anya_skywalker

"It is known that there are infinite number of worlds, simply because there is infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so average population of all planets in Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that population of whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely products of deranged imagination."
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

Master was here (12.10.16)
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